Everything is Fine….

I keep repeating myself that everything is fine...But when i close my eyes i see darkness & when i open my eyes i see night…I hate night.. It gives me feeling of darkness, Loneliness & sadness…I hate seeing time going on but not able to close my  eyes even for a second….But i keep repeating myself everything is fine…I wish this life was also like movie..Like in movies everything comes in favor of Hero/Heroine… I want to feel the same, I want to live like a Heroine who faces so much difficulty but at the end everything/everyone comes in her favor. But i am still waiting for that moment to happen.

I think these difficult experience have given me scars for life, I dont know how much happiness i will get in the future but these scars will always remain with me, Making me realize in all the happiness that anytime bad can happen. So what should i do, Should i give up or should i stay strong?…I want to choose 2nd option but to remain strong i do not have the strength. So what option do i have.. Not sure how will i pass this time but i am sure that i will stand though i will not be strong enough to fight but i will not give up.

I want to hope that one day even my luck will change & i will also feel the happiness that everyone else are able to easily get. I want to wait for my time & then i want to shout with all the remaining strength that “everything is fine” but that time it will be for real